Optimism

Dear Husband,
      I genuinely appreciate that you put the children to bed.  You understand that by 9pm,  I have the patience of a bull at a rodeo.  However, in my recollection, our children have never stayed in bed once they've been put there.  And yet, every night you put them in bed and head down to your man cave as if you're thinking 'TONIGHT is the night they stay put and don't get up 100 times'.    Your optimism is adorable!

Love, Your Wife.

Time to get ready for bed!

Dear Daughter,

     Why do you act so surprised and confused when we tell you it's time to get ready for bed?  You always seem baffled by our request.  It appears that you have no idea what "getting ready for bed" actually involves.  Yet, it happens every night at the same time and it is comprised of the same 3 activities!  This list has not changed in quite some time -  Brush your teeth, go potty, and get in your bed!  I don't even care what you wear to bed, I'm not that picky.  "Getting ready for bed" happens with such regularity that you could plan your day around it (I know I do).  Is the problem that, at 9 years old, you can only remember the last 23 hours of your life and therefore truly have no recollection of what you did last night at this time?  

PS - I know that you never really brushed your teeth last night, even though you told me you did.  I was just to tired to care.