Dear Daughter,
I respect your clothing choices of comfort over trendy fashion. However there is one area where we disagree. Other than some minor functionality and safety concerns due to their loose fit, there isn't technically anything wrong, but I still hate them. They represent hundreds of dollars spent on better stuff that was discarded after the novelty wore off, only to have you go back to the known convenience and comfort. They represent the arguments over a more appropriate alternative for an upcoming activity, only to have you ignore me and then complain when you get hurt. They represent bad grades in gym for coming 'unprepared'. So I have decided - as a symbol of the footwear related aggravation and grief I have endured on your behalf, your Crocs must die!
Love,
Mom
PS - I had hoped that while we were camping they would have somehow found their way too close to the fire, but there were always too many witnesses.
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