Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Looked Everywhere?

Dear Children,
    We seem to have a misunderstanding regarding the meaning of the word 'everywhere'.   This has become apparent during the last several episodes of "Mom!  I can't find <insert item here>!  I've looked everywhere!".  You seem to think that 'everywhere' means "the view from your bedroom doorway for a duration of 3 seconds".   I'm not sure where you acquired that definition, but I would be remiss in my parental duties if I didn't correct  this.  
   "Everywhere" as defined by our old pal Webster's as "in every place or part".  To be more specific "every" is defined as "all possible".  Therefore "everywhere" means "in all possible places or parts".  
    When you come to me all panicked because you can't find something and you tell me you've 'looked everywhere in your room', I am assuming you have, in fact, looked 'in all possible places' in your room.    Yet, it becomes obvious, when I find the missing item quickly be looking under the dirty towels on the floor, that you did not actually 'look everywhere'.  I know I am "the Great Finder of Lost Things", but lets save the super power for things that are not hiding in plain sight. 

Love, Mom  

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